Baby is Starting Child Care
I feel totally out of my depth again after 4 years of parenting. And you’d think of all things that I should be totally okay and under control with is a baby starting child care today. Bit of background on me, I have been worked as a nanny, baby sitter and in child care, with intermittent breaks to study and have my own babies. My eldest started child care at 2.5 years but had been accompanying me to work as a nanny since he was 6 months old. Okay she’s younger than he was when I left him, she’s 10 months, but seriously – I’ve got this.
But I don’t. I’m freaking out. “What if”is raging away. Any comfort I offer myself is like my inner carer talking to my inner parent like two people having a conversation in my head. The carer in me telling myself as a parent all the things I‘ve ever told nervous mothers and fathers leaving their precious babies in my care. “She will be fine. She will settle. She will have fun. We’ll work this out.”
But all the “what ifs” tumble over each other, what if she cries all day? What if she bumps her head? What if something happens to her when I’m not there to protect her? What if they leave her alone in a cot to cry – what if she’s feeling abandoned by me? What if she never settles into daycare and I have to take her out!? (And so on and so forth)
And not nearly so pessimistic as the freaked out inner mummy, my inner carer is actually quite certain that baby WILL cry, that she probably will have a bad day, she’ll be unsettled and grumpy, and totally out of “routine” (Whatever that is) actually my inner carer is feeling a little more sorry for my babies actual carers because they’ll probably have a really hard day with my hot tempered little baby….
But then another voice chimes in, a calm, reasonable, fair, kind voice that says – “…Whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours to see…” no wait… that’s a Doris Day song that’s stuck in my head…
But it’s true. I don’t know what will happen, or how she (or I) will cope. And all this stress achieves nothing but creates more stress. I need to just wait and see how she goes.
Que Sera Sera