This article was originally publish by MummyMotivation.com and has been republished here with permission.
Being a stay at home mum comes with both its blessings and its challenges. The things I did not realise before becoming one was that not all SAHM’s are like the ones we see on TV. All mothers make choices which cost them in different ways, this is my story and what I have sacrificed.
I realised whilst speaking to my cousin over the weekend that when I do decide, or am able to go back to work, I would’ve been out of work for 10years. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life 10years ago, I certainly don’t know today, will I know 10years from now? In saying that though, 10years is a long time, that’s an entire decade of being out of the workforce, my eldest son and I can apply together at McDonalds since he will nearly be ready to get a part time job. At the end of this decade, I will have not a single piece of paper to validate any of the skills I may have mastered during this time. What would I put on my resume? I am an expert in dispute resolution, a professional janitor, I have had extensive training in the kitchen with some of the world’s top chefs (via You Tube) and I have written up a number of contracts and negotiated the terms to my client’s (aka myself & hubby’s) best interests? Surely my butt wiping skilling and extensive knowledge about willy’s and farts will be needed somewhere?
Being a young mum I never really got the chance to build a career or celebrate any kind of ‘ticks’ in my life. After finishing school I was too preoccupied with trying to be ‘cool’ that I partied (and worked a dozen odd jobs to fund my lifestyle) away for 3 years before meeting my soulmate and getting knocked up the year I turned 21. I had my son the following year just after turning 22, it was then that I first felt a sense of achievement of sorts, I had created a human, and one that I hope will grow up to become a leader one day. Fast forward 5years to today and after creating 3 humans and barely holding on to my sanity, I continue my struggle with being a stay at home mama, no income (or savings) & no workplace valued skills to offer.
When my husband and I decided that he would be the hunter/gatherer and I would be the nurturer/homemaker, we knew our marriage would mirror that of a 1950’s household. My husband being self-employed meant has never had a set wage coming in each week which meant being frugal was the top priority for me as the homemaker. I mastered that skill but struggled with the fact that whilst my female family and friends were getting degrees and promotions, I was fist pumping the air for getting through an entire day without any tantrums. I have nothing to offer other than my love and effort, it’s taken me up to now to realise that it’s enough.
So do I regret any of the decisions I have made in my life so far? Do I wish I had it easier? Would I have had it any easier if I did do it the 21st century way and built my life before I built a family? No, I do not have any regrets nor will I ever know how my life would have turned out. I do know that I am employed, my job is probably one of the best jobs in the world, I am a Mother. Like every other job it is stressful, I get little gratification and unlike conventional jobs I rarely if ever get holidays. So even though in the past I have looked at myself as achieving nothing, having nothing to offer when I do decide, or am able, I was wrong. I have achieved at creating life, raising them to be the world’s next leaders and spending each day creating memories that they can one day share with their children.
Are you a SAHM? Do you find it challenging?
Are you a Working Mama Bear? What challenges do you struggle with daily?