Biscuit “Gingerbread” House

I had a plan. It was a pretty good plan. We were going to do some pre-Christmas getting-into-the-spirit-of-things baking. It was going to be FUN. It was also going to look awesome. I was basically going to win parenting.

Those plans always go well don’t they?

My first idea was to make a gingerbread house from scratch, but I thought about it and decided that might be a little overly ambitious. But then I remembered seeing these adorable little biscuit “gingerbread” houses on the internet; a few rectangle biscuits, some icing to glue them together and decorate. How hard can it possibly be?

How. Hard. Can. It. Possibly. Be.

I was so confident about this activity that I was planning to document the process and upload instructions on how to do it. Too easy. TOO EASY.

So. Here it is.

Step One

Get one of your rectangle biscuits and apply a line of white icing (made from a mixture of pure icing sugar and water, don’t ask me for amounts as I didn’t measure it) Piped from a zip lock bag with a little hole cut in the corner.

Step Two

Attempt to stick another biscuit on to the first; upright to form the first wall. Immediately realise that you have no idea what you’re doing. Add more icing. Try again. Add even more icing.

Try to stick the second wall on without knocking over the first.

Add more icing to reinforce the walls.

Step Three

Now very very carefully attempt to squeeze icing onto the very tip of the walls without knocking them over. (stand them back up again when you do) and place a ceiling on top.

Reassure yourself that when it has a roof on it the house will be more stable.

It isn’t.

Stand the biscuits all back up again. Add more icing.

Step Four

Now contemplate how on earth you’ll attach a pointed roof. Just wing it, slap on some more icing, stick it on. TAKE SOME PHOTOS WHILE IT’S ALL STILL UPRIGHT!!!!

Okay. Let’s try this again. I’ve learnt some good lesssons. I think we can do better this time.

Step One

This time use more icing. More icing seems to be the key.

Step Two

BEFORE attaching the walls, place a line of icing on the upper edge of the walls.

Step Three

Now place the ceiling on top.

Step Four

VERY VERY carefully squeeze two strips of icing on top of the ceiling.

Step Five

Ice the edge of another biscuit and sort of stick it against another biscuit forming the point of the roof.

Then place them carefully on the top of the ceiling piece LIKE A NINJA.

Wow.

That actually worked.

Go to take a picture. Phone immediately runs out of batteries. RUN AND FIND ANOTHER CAMERA BEFORE THE HOUSE FALLS DOWN.

Okay…. take a deep breath.

Step Four

This is the tricky part ; decorating.

First – take another picture of the “gingerbread” house… just in case…

Now sprinkle with sugar crystals – and notice how they don’t really stick to the icing.

Next clumsily place little shiney ball things along the roof line. And if you want to be REALLY fancy do some more around the bottom; alternating colours of course.

TAKE SOME MORE PICTURES.

Watch the house slowly collapse.

And you’re done!