Choosing to have a baby under 30
It seems to be a big deal these days, and yes, even frowned upon in some areas, to start a family before you’re 30.
In today’s society it’s often seen as irresponsible to even think about babies before the career and owning your first home and being financially set to cope with the monetary burden of children.
Everyone has their own idea of the “right way” to go about starting a family. For example, a friend of mine is desperate for children but has her timeline worked out down to the day about how that’s going to happen, it sounds a little like this
– Pay off credit cards by X date
– Buy a new “family safe” car on X date
– Put deposit on house on X date
– Get pregnant in X month
And it goes on and on.
I figure if you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, it never will be.
I’m defiantly one to just wing it and go with the flow when it comes to life in general, but seriously….
I’ve been with my husband 7 years. We have been married for 1.5 years now. We have been living together for more than 5 years and have everything we really need. Sure there are still wants but nothing essential. We both have steady jobs. We have successfully raised pets, although not a garden. While we’d love to buy a house, we can’t afford it yet, still paying off Uni and a wedding. And after our 7 years (with our ups and downs, but ultimately coming through it all stronger) we are ready to have a baby. Here’s the kicker, we are both 24.
So, while society tells us to slow the hell down, be responsible, you’ve got another 6 years before you even start to think about this, save your money, buy a house, work on your careers! My heart tells me it’s time.
And aside from being emotionally ready to add to our little family, in 6 years I’ll be 30!
I want to enjoy my children. I want to be able to keep up with them for a while. To be able to relate to them. To remember what it was like to be young and dumb.
My own mother started very young, and in my mind too young at 19, with 4 kids and a divorce under her belt by my age. And while she wasn’t the greatest mum for a teenager, still growing up herself, now we are best friends and as a little girl I couldn’t have asked for a better Mum. She still had the sweet innocence of a girl (still does really) herself and always put my brothers and I first, because we were her world, not the material things so heavily focused on today.
My husband’s parents however were 28 when he was born and still desparetly try to keep up with him, which usually results in his Dad throwing out his back in a wrestling match. They also had their second child in there early 30’s and the relationship between them and their daughter is rocky at best, they just can’t relate to their kids, and are desperately hanging onto their own fading youth.
So comparing our upbringings really confirmed for me that I wanted to have kids in my early to mid 20’s. a general rule I set for my husband was if we don’t have kids by 30 it’s not happening.
It’s easier to fall pregnant in your 20’s. you’re generally healthier and have more energy to spend on your children and if you decide to forget about the material things and having it all first, you get to enjoy it.
Of course there is nothing wrong with starting a family a little later in life, it’s just not for me and my family. And honestly, if you’re having kids, it should be with the right person, at the right time for YOU.