Personal

It’s that time of year again! In the days between Christmas and New Years Eve I agonise over what to do to ring in the new year. Part of this agony is of course because that is a decision that really needs to be made before the 30th of December. By now venues are booked and friends have plans.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year Christmas is my FAVOURITE time of year. My tree has been up for nearly a full month and I’ve had presents tucked away even before the tree went up. And if I’m TOTALLY honest I sing Christmas Carols year round. Don’t hate me. I just love Christmas. Even though I was raised Christian, I would not longer identify myself as one. So I’m definitely more into n the cultural side Christmas, rather than it being a religious celebration for me. However I will sing along to Away In A Manger and Silent Night like I’m auditioning for The Voice (though, I’m a terrible singer, but I really do put my heart into it). Mum And Dad Can Hardly Wait For School To Start Again   Honestly I think I look forward to the school holidays just as much, if not more, than…

Never in my life have I started more sentence - or more thoughts - with phrases like: “Thank goodness….” “Just as well…” “At least…” “I’m just glad that…” “It could be worse.”

When the movie “Suddenly 30” (Also titled "13 Going On 30") came out in early 2004 I was sixteen years old. And I didn’t get why anyone would wish to be 30. That just seems so… so…. OLD!

Phone Calls Are Scary I hate calling people on the phone. Hate it. I get a little heart racing panic every time. Whether it’s calling the mechanic to book my car in for a service, or calling my mum to ask if she can babysit the kids. I hate that moment when the phone is ringing and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Will they answer? What are they going to say? What if I bugger this up and words tumble out of my mouth like they do so often because nerves and talking don’t go very well together. Throw in the fact that so many people use mobile phones these days and the variables of what will happen when they answer the phone are overwhelming. What if they’re out? What if I’m annoying them? Why did they answer the phone if they didn’t want to talk to…

My mum adopted a greyhound named Jodie a few months ago. Something that I was a little nervous about - not knowing anything about greyhounds. I had imagined they were aggressive and dangerous to have around children. I had no idea how gentle and sweet greyhounds are.

This isn’t just something that happens in the blogging community. This happens to basically everyone in the creative or arts industry. We’re expected to work for experience, for exposure, for trade - but not for money.

The Year A Christmas Carol Broke My Heart *Content warning* Discusses difficulty conceiving. One Christmas, several years ago I was walking through a shopping centre with my son who had just turned 2 years old. There were decorations everywhere and Christmas Carols were playing continuously. Overall it was a lovely pre-Christmas outing with my little boy. Then the song “All I Want For Christmas Is You” came over the loudspeaker. A familiar Christmas classic. But the words just ripped my heart in two. I had to practically run out of the centre, tears running down my face. Trying to get away from the song. Trying to get away from the words that somehow were speaking to my pain. Even writing this my eyes are prickling and my throat feels thick. Because that year there was one thing I wanted. I wanted it more than anything in the whole world. But…

So, in the last month I’ve only published one thing written by me. I don’t know if anyone has actually noticed - and it’s totally okay if you haven’t - I’ve gone to some effort to conceal my “writer's block”; frequently posting amusing memes on social media and sharing guest articles.

Child-free friends do often get a bit of a bad press. They don’t understand what it’s REALLY like to be a parent, which occasionally leads to them giving us advice about how we should raise our children based on how they imagine parenting will be with their theoretical future children.

I want to tell you something. I feel like you will understand, even if you aren’t in the same boat. Why? Because what I want to tell you relates to a desire that we all have. Something we all want.

I went for “inspiration” for blogging and ended up sort-of-but-not-really self publishing a children’s book within about 48 hours of attending the class. I had already written it about a year ago and I had most of the pictures sketched; it just wasn't in book form, it was a pile of paper I had stashed in my wardrobe.

I’ve been asked a few times for a packing/moving checklist so with all my experience moving house, this is what I can come up with.

We move house in THREE DAYS! THREE!!! Uno. Dos. Tres. That’s it. And then we’re there.

I recently read a blog post titled "You Don't Need to Use Curse Words in Blog Posts" and I was surprised that I had a lot to say on the topic, despite the fact I don't really ever swear - while blogging or in real life.

Yesterday we put a rental application in on a house - a whole house - that has easily twice the space of our current home, and I’m crossing all my fingers and toes that we are accepted. It has two living rooms, 4 bedrooms, and more cupboards than I’d know what to do with!

This is half how to, how not to, how I do it (ha like I do this regularly). Full disclosure I might be a little bit of an anxious, stressed out person who likes to be in control and have a plan. But I also want to have fun and pretend to not be those things. So here's my plan to ensure a smooth and enjoyable night out on the town.

Bloggers are people, with flaws and feelings. They provide a diverse range of perspectives on limitless topics. Plus I’ve never met a blogger I didn’t like.

I’m going for my driving test tomorrow - and I won't lie, I’m more than a little nervous. I’ve been on my Ls for about 7 years (so, not long - ha) I’ve always been a little anxious around cars - both in them and just in general. I have for as long as I can remember always been just a little jumpy as a passenger.

Being a writer is the one thing I ever firmly knew I wanted to be when I “grew up”. I always loved reading. I started reading fantasy fiction novels when I was 12 and that was when I felt like that was what I wanted to do.

I have an major issue with accepting compliments, I seem to habitually disagree with the person who is trying to genuinely trying to offer me a compliment, so I thought, I should write myself an open letter and share it because I’ve noticed I’m not the only person who does this and it seriously needs to stop.

I’m not really sure what it was about that apartment, but there was always an underlying feeling of unease there. It wasn't anything to do with how the apartment looked - it wasn't an older place. It didn't have any bad history. It was a nice apartment in a nice suburb. But it still just had a weird "vibe".

I've been feeling flat, unmotivated, lost, bored, lonely and uneasy. I have a constant “There’s something I should be doing” feeling. But even when have things I SHOULD be doing, I often don't have the energy to do them.

Happy Birthday To Me! It’s my birthday on Saturday and I’m super excited – my kids are being baby sat overnight (yay sleep!) and I have plans to meet friends (yay friends!) in the city (yay city!) for drinks (YAY DRINKS!) I have a table booked, I’ve given some serious thought to how I will be preventing a hangover, I’ve been testing some make-up I’ve purchased recently, I’ve got an outfit picked out and I’m even whipping up a crochet infinity scarf for myself (and I practically never craft for myself, I even let myself splash out and spend a WHOLE $13 on wool for it, because I’m worth it!) I’m dying my hair before the weekend – and I agonised for 2 hours today in the shopping centre today over whether I wanted reddy brown or purpley brown! Seriously 2 hours… And it’s not even a permanent hair colour…

I hate making mistakes. I hate it. I agonise over mistakes, mistakes I've made, mistakes I might make, mistakes that could have been worse, mistakes that I feel nobody else but me would ever make. Rationally I know that everyone makes mistakes, but ...