“I love other people’s babies.” Ill announce cooing over any small human that appears in front of me. And I do. So much. When friends have babies they know when I visit them to almost wordlessly pass me the baby. It’s not a discussion. They know that it’s what I’m waiting for. And I try not to ask, I don’t want to swoop in and take someone’s baby out of their arms. But I’m still itching to get my hands on them.
I almost felt the need to announce on my personal Facebook page how proud I am of myself I am today. You see, last night I cooked a roast that I had bought from the supermarket on Saturday. Yesterday was Tuesday, which means I’d bought the roast a full three days prior. And despite the fact the actual expiration date for the meat is still two whole weeks away, three days is normally too long for me to have meat in my fridge before I will irrationally panic and throw it in the bin.
I get you just want to help. I really do. This is no way a critism of anyone who’s ever said any of these things to me. I really really understand you mean to be supportive, but sometimes it has the opposite affect.
When I had Postnatal Anxiety with my first baby 8 years ago (actually his birthday is on Saturday!) there was so many things I just didn’t know that I didn’t know. I didn’t expect to need to know.
I read this article – Why I Refuse to Feel Guilty About Mum Guilt by Emily Hawker and I relate to every. Single. Word. of it. I knew I would from the title alone.
As sick of feeling irrationally guilty about motherhood, I’m sick of being told I need to stop feeling guilty.
It’s Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Awareness Week, and rather than just sharing my own experience with Postnatal Anxiety I wanted to give people the opportunity connect with a range of other voices, to show that if you are going through Perinatal Depression and Anxiety that you’re not alone, and also that individual experiences with Depression and Anxiety can vary.
My own journey with Anxiety has been going on for 7 years – not continuously – but my anxiety does come back from time to time since my children were born (my son is 7 and my daughter is 3) and there are a lot of things that I’ve learned about Perinatal Anxiety and Depression in that time, either things I just didn’t know that I didn’t know, or things that I had been completely wrong about.
So, this week is Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Awareness Week (From the 15th to the 21st of November). I’m going to write a few posts on the topic and publish them throughout the week, but I thought I’d start by sharing a bit about why this week is really important to me.
I’ve started writing about my experience of bonding with my son countless times, it’s something I’ve wanted to share, but I haven’t felt ready to share all of it. I’ve wanted to put it out there so that anyone who might have experienced it can know they’re not alone, but I’ve hesitated because I don’t want anyone to think badly of me, or worse, feel sorry for me.
Because this isn’t the story about how I struggled to bond with my son; this is the story of how I fell in love with him.
Today – and any day – is a good day to ask people that simple question; “R U OK” You might start a conversation that could change someone’s life.
According to Beyond Blue in Australia:
1 in 6 people will experience depression at some stage in their lives.
1 in 4 people will experience anxiety.
1 in 7 mothers will experience postnatal depression and 1 in 10 mothers will experience antenatal depression. Anxiety is likely to be as, if not more, common.
I am currently 35 weeks into my second pregnancy and although I have been using an app to help me keep track of my weeks, I am now starting the “it’s so close” end of the line count down.
My first pregnancy, with daughter Ayla, was uneventful and ‘boring’. I didnt have “morning sickness” or many issues apart from a low lying placenta, which rectified itself by 32 weeks. I suffered from some reflux but I loved the whole experience.
As reported in the Telegraph, doctors in the UK have developed a blood test which may be an early indicator of post natal depression.
Krystle’s PND Story Before I begin the next part of my story, i want to clear up the misconception i had about PND. I thought mums who got PND hated motherhood, and hence became depressed. How wrong I was. I loved being a mum and I loved my son intensely. …