Never in my life have I started more sentences – or more thoughts – with phrases like:
“Just as well…”
“On the bright side…”
“I’m just glad that…”
“It could be worse.”
Why am I suddenly so optimistic and grateful?
Well… my car broke down a couple of weeks ago. It apparently suffered from – according to our mechanic – “catastrophic engine failure”. And I’m completely in love with that phrasing. It sounds so much more dramatic than it was. Really what happened was I put the kids into the car, we drove around the corner and then the car engine stopped making car engine sounds. Then came to a slow stop and never drove again.
This car is the one I bought in May. It was not insured and not covered by warranty. It had been to the mechanic a couple of times since it was purchased (admittedly the first trip to the car doctor was because I crunched the bottom of it going over a curb and apparently small cars don’t like that.)
So basically this car has cost a quite a bit of money in the 5 short months that I’ve owned it and now it’s gone to the big car park in the sky. Well, it’s gone to the auto wreckers. Same thing.
Now I have no car.
I don’t actually know when I will have another car.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Yet why am I so happy about it?!?!
Honestly, I’m not. It’s shit. It’s really really shit. But aside from the first few hours after hearing from the mechanic that my car was beyond repair that I spent with my head in my hands going “I don’t… I can’t… I just…. But…. what are we going to do?” I’ve been fine about it.
Stress won’t actually change the outcome.
At this point anyone who knows me is thinking “Who are you and what have you done with Rachel?” Because stress is my natural habitat. I stress about things that might-possibly-but-probably-wont go wrong, let alone something that actually has!
I don’t know. I’m waiting for this feeling of generally being okay with it to crash (and I have friends who’ve checked in a couple of times with me. I’m unnaturally calm about this apparently) but I suspect that gratitude is what is holding me together right now. And I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing.
Because thank goodness nobody was hurt when the car suddenly stopped working.
Just as well it wasn’t on the way to work or anything important.
At least it’s coming into warmer weather so it’s not unpleasant walking the kids to and from school and for getting to the shops and activities.
On the bright side I’m going to get super fit walking everywhere.
I’m just glad that we’re all okay; we’re all happy, healthy, and everything will somehow work out okay.
And it really could be worse.