I have an issue with accepting compliments, I seem to habitually disagree with the person who is genuinely trying to offer me a compliment, so I thought I should write myself a letter and share it because I’ve noticed I’m not the only person who does this and it seriously needs to stop.
Why is it so surprising when someone says something nice about you? Why are you so sure of your own insecurities that even if someone is telling you that they have observed something positive about you that you feel the need to correct them? Why is it so hard to believe anything good about yourself?
Also, why bother with false modesty? If you’re rocking, and you know you’re rocking, just shut up and take the compliment.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal, just take a deep breath and repeat after me –
Now that wasn’t so hard was it?
When someone says “Hey, Rach, you look great, have you lost weight?” Don’t say “Well, I lost some weight, but I’ve actually put back on like 3kgs in the last few weeks and really need to get back onto it, I’m just so unmotivated lately.”
Just say – “Yeah, I have. Thanks.”
When someone says “Great fringe! It really suits you!”
Don’t say. “Oh god I cut it myself which was a terrible mistake, I should have waited gone to a hair dresser, but I’m super impatient and I couldn’t get it even, so made it too short, because I was also trying to make it fit my glasses and I feel like it makes me look like a mumsy version of Dwayne Dibbly.”
No. (Calm down!!!)
Say “Thanks. I really appreciate that.”
When someone says you’re looking really pretty, don’t explain to them you’re wearing makeup – you don’t need to disclose that this isn’t really what your face looks like. It’s fine. They know.
When someone says “You’re such a good mum.” Don’t assume they’re being patronising.
When someone says “You’re a really good friend.” Don’t assume they want something.
When someone says “You did a good job.” Don’t assume there’s a silent “but” or “for you” at the end of it. And don’t – seriously don’t – bring up all the mistakes you’ve made in the process. Just say “Thank you” and own it. You’re probably not nearly as crap at things as you think you are.
And when you give someone a hand made gift and they thank you and tell you it looks great don’t apologise that it’s not perfect. Or point out that it’s not perfectly symmetrical, or explain that you don’t have an over locker, if you had an over locker it would be better.
Seriously, you gave them a present – that’s actually a nice thing to do! So stop feeling bad about it! Stop apologising! That’s kind of crazy.
So, try it again – “Thank you.”
Once more with feeling: “Thank you.”
PS. The fringe isn’t that bad!!!
Do you ever have trouble accepting compliments?