Life According to my Toddler

Life According to my Toddler

Why I think My Mummy Is MEAN:

20130306_152136 She goes to the toilet AND SHUT THE DOOR !!!

She doesn’t understand that “AWAAAAAHHHH!” means “excuse me mummy, I hate to bother you, but could you please get me a drink of water thanks” but “ARAAARRAAAH” clearly means “I’m tired and need milk to go to sleep”. Seriously how hard is it to understand!?!?

She also doesn’t understand when she asks me if I want a sandwich and I shake my head, I mean yes. But sometimes I really do me no, so she better not give me that sandwich if I mean no!!!

She doesn’t believe me that my cot, car seat and pram are all conspiring to EAT ME!!!

She wipes my nose. Enough said.

20130302_144531 (1) If I ram my toast into her mouth I don’t want her to eat it, I want her to save it for later! I can’t believe she ate my toast!

She occasionally has a shower – WITHOUT ME!

She doesn’t think that put me down and pick me up are totally reasonable requests AT THE SAME TIME!

She does’t share her toys! Like her tv remote, keys, coffee cup…scissors.

20130305_090711 She keeps giving me to daddy when SHE has had enough of ME but I still want HER! Then during the day I want HIM she says he’s not home?!?!

She doesn’t agree that everything is food… Except for food…. Food is gross.

I don’t even know what I want but SHE WONT GIVE IT TO ME!

We have strongly opposing hypothesise on the topic of “bedtime” – I intend on proving her wrong.

20130322_082016 (1) She doesn’t get I don’t BELIEVE in her strange notions of physics. Like gravity, cause and effect and object permanence!

She won’t just leave her boob out all day even though I don’t really want a feed – I just want the option of a feed.

I suppose I just have to accept my mummy and all her many faults.

Rachel Stewart

Rachel is the founder of Parenting Central. She is raising two children, boy and girl, with her partner. Rachel is obsessed prams, car seats, carriers and all things baby. She has worked in the baby industry for several years, for both suppliers and also in a retail setting and has developed a passion for connecting parents with the right products to make their lives easier. When Rachel isn't playing with prams she's enjoys crocheting, drinking coffee (sometimes wine) and spending a little too much time on Facebook.


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