Life According to my Toddler
Why I think My Mummy Is MEAN:
She doesn’t understand that “AWAAAAAHHHH!” means “excuse me mummy, I hate to bother you, but could you please get me a drink of water thanks” but “ARAAARRAAAH” clearly means “I’m tired and need milk to go to sleep”. Seriously how hard is it to understand!?!?
She also doesn’t understand when she asks me if I want a sandwich and I shake my head, I mean yes. But sometimes I really do me no, so she better not give me that sandwich if I mean no!!!
She doesn’t believe me that my cot, car seat and pram are all conspiring to EAT ME!!!
She wipes my nose. Enough said.
She occasionally has a shower – WITHOUT ME!
She doesn’t think that put me down and pick me up are totally reasonable requests AT THE SAME TIME!
She does’t share her toys! Like her tv remote, keys, coffee cup…scissors.
She doesn’t agree that everything is food… Except for food…. Food is gross.
I don’t even know what I want but SHE WONT GIVE IT TO ME!
We have strongly opposing hypothesise on the topic of “bedtime” – I intend on proving her wrong.
She won’t just leave her boob out all day even though I don’t really want a feed – I just want the option of a feed.
I suppose I just have to accept my mummy and all her many faults.