Experiencing fears about pregnancy, birthing and becoming a parent is normal for dads.
Bringing home for the first time a new tiny person that is going to rely on you for their safety, well-being and to bring them up “right” can be stressful. You might feel the pressure of having them rely on you to earn enough money to support your family and take care of things.
It’s important to discuss your new dad fears, here’s some guidelines when discussing with your partner.
- Be honest and open, say what’s on your mind, better out than in. She may have the same fears and stress as you
- No judging each other
- Be supportive of each other values and fears
You should research being pregnant and know what stage she is up to in her pregnancy. Ask your partner questions / talk to her / get involved /
Fear can be the fear of the unknown so talk to your partner about what is going on, what to expect, what she’s experiencing.
Ask her questions and try to understand from her view what is going on and her emotions. (she might be snappy, short tempered, tired & tearful during pregnancy and after baby is born, while its important to try to be respectful of each other try not take it too personally, its normal for her to be a bit “hormonal”)
Get involved and go along to with her to see doctors and midwife. Attend antenatal/birthing classes. Read the brochures she might bring home from hospital appointments. If you don’t understand something a doctor or midwife has said, or you want more information – ask! Speak up!
Write a birth plan together (get involved in the decisions-making process.)
Understand the support you are going to give while she is labour/ birthing your child.
Do you know any other dads?
Talk to them about their experiences through their partners’ pregnancy, labour, birth, fatherhood or you can speak to a professional.
It might help to hear how other mates have coped and may give you some ideas about what to do or what not to do
It’s okay if pregnancy, birthing and becoming a parent (even for the second, third + time) is stressful, or scary for you.
Both your lives are changing in a major way.
Understanding and respect each other and ensure you maintain some special time as a couple.
Reassure each other, don’t just talk about fears, also talk about how excited/proud/in love you are. As a team you and you will help each other.