I never planned to be “one of those mums” – those mums who tell poop stories. Come on. Who talks about poop?
Turns out – I talk about poop.
I have had the “Is this normal?” poop conversations. I’ve celebrated the first potty-poops. I’ve talked – at length – about kiddie-constipation.
Not only that – I became one of those people who post poop-pictures on Faceboook. Yep. I’m the worst.
So without further adieu, here’s a few of my best/worst poop stories ….
The first one took place when my son was just a couple of weeks old. I was halfway through changing his nappy and he fart-sprayed poop all up my arm, on my chest, on the wall, the door, it dripped down onto the carpet, also from the change table it ran into the clean nappies stored underneath it….. for a moment I was paralysed; just staring at my tiny squirming newborn baby in shock that so much poop could come from such a small person. (I then gathered him up and went to have a shower with him, because I didn’t know where to even begin to deal with the room.)
When he was a toddler he was wandering around without a nappy on and he dropped a pretty big poop at the end of the hallway. He looked startled and when he turned around to see what had come out of him he started screaming in terror and ran away from his own poop. (I tried to be empathetic to his obvious distress… but… I nearly peed myself laughing.)
When he was a little older I noticed something that looked like poop on top of his toy box. I was really confused, because I couldn’t work out how on earth poop could possibly have gotten up on top of the toy box – and also he was wearing clothes! So I leaned in tentatively for a bit of a smell…. yep… definitely Poop. My little boy had watched me do this and a look of horrified realisation crossed his face and he slowly lifted up one of his hands to look at it. It was also covered in poop. Cue hysterical screaming as he realised he’d reached into his own nappy and retrieved the poop himself – then must have placed it on top of the toy box. (From him. Not me. I couldn’t stop laughing.)
There was also the time I made the hideous mistake of putting him in his fancy high chair with a removable cover and adjustable *everything* (think lots of grooves and crevasses) without a nappy… when he’d been constipated for a few days… when he’d eaten an entire punnet of blue berries the day before… I don’t think I need to explain how that played out…
My daughter has also had a few poo-splosions.
The most recently where her nappy had leaked out the side – she had stood in it and then walked around the house. Let me just say that there’s not much that can truly bother me when it comes to child-related-grossness once the initial shock and “What am i going to do about this?!” has worn off. I worked in childcare before I had my own children and even other people’s children’s poop is manageable…. but I seriously to step outside a few times to breathe, because I felt faint cleaning up that horror scene.
Thankfully it’s not just me who’s experience poop-sasters. I asked some other bloggers for their poop stories and this is what they said:
“Do I ever have a poor story!! Our little one was just starting to pull himself up on furniture. During some nappy off time he was holding onto my bedside table when he pulled the ‘poo face’ you know the one I mean!! I grabbed the nearest thing I could (a new cane basket) and held it below his bottom until his poo-nami finished. Needless to say I threw the basket out and had a shower!” Lauren from Canberra Mummy
“My son decided to use poo as a hair styling product on my birthday this year. I was on the phone, go told “mummy, poo” I turned to look only to see him running his poo covered hand through his hair to style a Mohawk.” Kylie from Kidgredients
“I have three kids so I am still amazed at how babies can have such ferocious poo-splatter – that it get blasted out of their nappies. I have had to clean poo that went right up the back, up to the nape and even on hair. Ewww.” Sandra from Sanses.com
“I also had the time my own daughter went really quiet and I found her sitting in a corner putting her hands into a poo nappy then EATING IT!!!!! The most disgusting thing ever.” Toni from Finding Myself Young (Also read her “The First Time I looked After a Baby” poop story)
Last but certainly not least….
” No real story, apart from my twins went through a stage of every day sleep ending up like this picture:”
Also – I flipping love this video…. Poor Uncle Chris….
Please feel free share your own poop stories!