Parenting Central Australia

Still A Person

Anger

Still A Person

OK, I’m just going to say to – I hate being pregnant. It has nothing to do with the tiny baby about to be brought into the world, that part I love. The journey to getting him here, that part sucks! Basically, everyone has an opinion and will voice it, particularly the negative ones.

I’m going to start with finding out the gender. For us, we wanted to know, however, my mother in law didn’t want to know and didn’t want us to know, and was incredibly vocal about it. My grandparents didn’t care if we knew; they just didn’t want to know themselves. My Mum, desperate to find out!  Thankfully my husband and I were very firmly on the same page, we wanted to know, and didn’t want to keep it a secret but respected that other family didn’t feel the same way so planned on telling those who wanted to know the gender. The day we found out we had a little boy on the way, we called family and asked if they wanted to know. It turned out well, they all decided to find out we are having a boy. Thank goodness I don’t have to keep that news hidden, I knew I would slip up at some point and someone would be angry at me.

The next big opinion is over naming our baby. We are all guilty of making judgements on names our friends and families have chosen for their kids. Once again family thinks they have more input than they actually do. I chatted about some of the names we had been thinking about to my Nan. She went and told the the rest of the family,  initially the response was good, but soon everyone had a favourite and something to say about one or more of the others they had decided wasn’t suitable for one reason or another that has over all put me off our first choice. Also it made me doubt our ability to successfully and appropriately name our child. Now my husband and I can’t agree on a name and are keeping tight lipped about any options we have.

Another un-fun part of the whole experience is everyone seems to think they have the right to touch my belly! NO PEOPLE, YOU DON’T! You would never consider grabbing someone’s belly if they weren’t pregnant, especially a stranger’s or greeting a belly before the person attached to it is just plain rude, especially when that is coupled with aggressive belly shaking! It’s not a handshake! It actually induces nausea and makes you feel like an incubator, not a human being!

Another point to cover is the birth plan. Discussing my options with people has just made me feel like I don’t have any at all. I want a scheduled caesarean. According to every woman at the hospital, my in-laws and a few other opinionated people – I don’t want one and a failure as a woman for even thinking it. When you weigh up how you want your birth to go in an ideal world everyone factors things differently.

I have also been asked by family if I will be breast feeding or bottle feeding. To which my answer is whatever works. Ideally breast feeding, but I would like the bottle as an option as well, if all goes well I’ll be expressing and breast feeding, a little more freedom for me to have a date with my husband while a babysitters looks after our baby for a few hours or to feed a bottle while out and about or travelling. Thankfully this is one of the few areas I haven’t been slammed in the face with opposing ideas.

The latest opinion I have been faced with if cloth versus disposable nappies. Seriously people, unless you’re the one buying the nappies, changing the nappies and doing the laundry you have no say! Back off!!! It’s really no one but the parents business what the kid shits in.

There are countless other topics relating to baby and your pregnancy that everyone will have something to say about, those are just the big ones that have been getting me down. I keep saying to myself, chin up Mum-To-Be, it’s not long now and then it will all be about how you want to raise the child….. Surely by then I’ll be able to stand up for myself when people tell me how to do everything, (or at least so overwhelmed I just burst into tears at each criticism and guilt them into backing off!)

 

About Melissa

Melissa is a married mum of 1 little man Elliot who arrived in our family in july 2013. She also have 2 cats, despite being a dog person.Before becoming Mummy, she worked in a 120 place long day care centre as a toddler room assistant, but being there 3 years i have worked with ages 3 months to 8 years.As well as that she's an arty farty do-it-yourself kind of Mum who loves creating new art experiences and making her own toys and crafts.

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Pregnancy is lovely! You’re growing a tiny human inside you! You’re glowing with maternal love and joy! It’s all sunshine and roses and riding off into the sunset to the sound of 120 piece symphony orchestra.
Oh, wait no. That’s not at all how it works.