To My Dear Deprived Second Child
To My Dear Deprived Second Child,
You recently asked me for a photo album containing pictures of yourself for your birthday, because you’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that there are multiple albums and picture frames dedicated to your brother – and not one hard-copy photograph of you.
I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to let it slide for nearly 4 years. I did PLAN to get photos of you printed. And there are plenty of photos of you. Thousands in fact. But you’re right, I have neglected to print any out.
And I know I should have made the effort. I know because I AM a second child too. I know what you’re feeling. My brother had 3 albums to every 1 of mine. So, I am sorry.
It’s not the only thing you’ve gotten a raw deal on. Being a younger sibling you’ve missed on so many things that your brother had.
I used to take your brother to multiple playgroups – every week. How many playgroups have you attended? ….None.
I used to take your brother to the aquarium so many times we had an annual pass which we well and truly got our money’s worth from. How many times have you been to the aquarium? …. Never.
I used to travel with your brother, we’d go on holidays – just he and I. Now when I go on holidays I go alone, all by myself, to get away from being “mummy” for a day or so.
Most of your life has been spent being towed along to things for your brother. You’re hauled out to bed to take him to school. Or picking him up from friend’s places. You’re taken to birthday parties for His friends. You have to wait around at his sporting events.
It sounds like you got the short end of the stick. But there’s up sides!
When you were born I was confident and calm. I was already “Mum” and (mostly) knew what I was doing.
You were never made to wait for a feed when you were a baby – I couldn’t have been pressured into “stretching out” your like I was when your brother was born.
As second time parents we’ve been less anxious, so you’ve had more freedom to play with dirt, climb really high and wander further away from us when you play.
You’ve had access to WAY cooler toys than your brother had at the same age, because you’ve always been able to play with his toys (whether he’s wanted you to or not). Like Lego. Did you know he wasn’t allowed to have lego until he was 4!?!? You’ve had them practically your whole life!
You have always had a brother who loves you – so much. He had to wait to have you.
Has your youngest child missed out on anything their older sibling had?
