When you wake up on the couch in the middle of the night with a child on you because you fell asleep watching TV and nobody woke you up.
When you think baby needs a nappy change, worry because their nappy is completely dry, take it off anyway and then go to put it in the bin and right on top of the rubbish is a nappy – then remember you literally changed their nappy 5 minutes prior.
When while cosleeping with baby and preschooler have to consciously check head size and hair length before breastfeeding, in case its the wrong child.
When you walk into a room and have no idea what you were there for – a dozen times a day.
When you think you’ve been to the toilet, but you’r not sure, and you can’t remember and it takes more time and effort to work out if you actually feel like you need to pee than it would just take to go pee (again?)
When you think you’ve told someone something but you’ve only thought it. Or you think you’ve just thought something, but you actually have said it aloud.
When one glass of wine you’re tipsy, two you’re asleep.
When coffee has become a food group.
When you go to write today’s date, cant remember what it is – ask someone – they tell you the date and month and you still can’t recall what year it is.
When Huggies ads, the news, the opening scene from “Finding Nemo”, the ending of most kids movies, people saying they enjoyed spending time with you, your kids smiling, your kids crying, you can’t find something ALL makes you teary!
When in the middle of the night you reach out in a panic to catch your baby as they fall out if bed, only to realize you’ve caught your own pillow – baby is in the cot – and then a few nights later you nudge your pillow off the bed and it makes a disconcerting *thud -waahhhhhhh* sound.
When you go to check the baby asleep in the middle of the night, look in the bassinet and they aren’t there, and you can’t remember where you put them, wake partner in a panic, then remember they outgrew the bassinet, you put the baby in the cot.
When you make a bottle of formula in the middle of the night and totally lose count of how many scoops you’ve done then realise the bottle is full of powder.
When you’re hungry at 4pm and cant work out why when its no where near dinner time – then realise you forgot to eat lunch.
When you wake and think WOW both kids slept through last night! Then realise – no – no they didn’t, they’re both in bed with you.
When you sleep walk to fetch the baby in the middle of the night – and walk into a door frame and give yourself a shiner and a split lip. Then having to tell people you REALLY did walk into a door. HONEST!
When you are breastfeeding and baby swaps to the other breast and you forget to put the first one away.
When you wake up cold and damp and realise a small person has wet your bed and rather then waking them you just go back to sleep. OR if its the middle of night you just change the little person and put a towel over the wet spot so you can go back to sleep.
When you get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and you wake up feeling energised and ready to take on the world!!! (Shame its still only 4am – but its the best sleep you’ve had in months… possibly years…)
Feel free to add your own in the comments below!