How To Prepare For Night Out As A Mum
How To Prepare For Night Out As A Mum
This is half how to, how not to, how I do it (ha like I do this regularly). Full disclosure I might be a little bit of an anxious, stressed out person who likes to be in control and have a plan. But I also want to have fun and pretend to not be those things.
So here’s my plan to ensure a smooth and enjoyable night out on the town.
Step one
Organise my mum to baby sit the child overnight at her house. This is very important because there’s nothing less enjoyable than first thing in the morning after a night out being met with small adoring faces full of life and energy.
Step two
Decide what to wear. Obsess. This might be my one and only chance to get dressed up like a proper grown up and not get any puke or drool on my clothes (well… Hopefully…)
Step three
Using Google maps, transport planner and taxi far estimator work out all the alternative routes and modes of transport to the venue. Weigh up the cost, to time, to effort ratio of each mode of transportation. Contact friend to double check what her plan is. Freak out a little that her idea of a plan is “Head in at 8. And have fun.” THAT IS NOT A PLAN! *breathe*
Step four
Accept I’m probably going to just pay the trillion dollars for the taxi home rather than attempt to catch public transport home when I’m cold, tried, and possibly drunk.
Step five
Start drinking water early in the day. Have a hearty lunch. Mentally plan out my drinks for the evening. Consider writing on my wrist “one drink. One water”. Do anything I can to prevent a hangover, because even though my kids are at grandma’s overnight, for some cruel reason my post children hangovers can last for flipping days. Even if all I drink is the equivalent of what pre-kids me would have considered pre-drinking. Post-kids me drinks water as pre-drinking.
Pre-kids me would be so ashamed.
Step six
Think about pre-kids me and how much more free and relaxed I was back then. Like the time I ended up getting in a taxi to go to a suburb that was 2 hours from home with people I didn’t know to do things I’d rather not discuss. I had so much fun. But post-kids me thinks – How did I not end up dead?! How did I survive that severely hungover train, bus, train, walk home? Why did I think that was fun?! (Because it was)
Step Seven
DO ALL THE HOUSE WORK so I don’t have to do it tomorrow hungover and even more sleep deprived than I normally am. Pack the kids bags for grandma’s house. Charge phone. Generally fuss over everything. Don’t sit still. Straighten hair early “to save time later”. Wonder all day at what time should I put on make up. Watch make up tutorials on YouTube. It’s still SO MANY HOURS before I have to go because we’re meeting at 8pm. Since when does going out at 8pm seem so late?
Realise I might be a Nanna.
Step eight
Double check bus, train, tram, taxi, walking distances again. Check bank account. Dread checking back account tomorrow.
Step nine
Wonder if I should just stay home and have an early night and blissfully sleep through – maybe I’m just too old and boring for this now. Feel generally exhausted by the whole task ahead of me.
Step ten
GO OUT AND HAVE AN AMAZING TIME!!!
