Taking Time For Each Other
I hear the advice of making time for our partners, to nurture our relationships, but I keep thinking – how can I make time, there’s still the same number of hours in a day, I can’t make more time. Also with “finding time” as though we might just stumble upon it. It doesn’t feel like that’s how it works.
But now more than ever, with two beautiful kids, work commitments, family commitments, spending time with our children, it’s important that we do take some time for ourselves as a couple. In some instances that means we need to “take our time” as in, slow down, step back from the pace of our lives and reflect. Sometimes taking our time could be forgetting the evening routine, popping the kids in the pram, and going for a walk. It’s not exactly alone time but it gives us a chance to debrief our days and have a good talk, before we get back on the merry-go-round of getting kids through the day.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves time, plan ahead, set it aside and commit that time to one another. We have a toddler who gets extremely distressed if she isn’t with me, which makes this very hard, even just the other day I popped out for 10 minutes to get milk in the morning and she was hysterical when I got back, her dad said “she just sat by the door and cried and didn’t want anything to do with him until I got back”. So even if I had someone who was brave enough to offer to baby sit our kids, I wouldn’t inflict her on anyone, nor put her through that. The only “dates” we can have at the moment are at home, which is why we plan “movie nights” at home. We can make it special with some wine and a cheese platter, dim the lights, bring some blankets and pillows to the couch – and even if a certain little girl joins us on the couch for a cuddle at some point – it still feels like we’ve had some time together. Otherwise, we’ve had occasions where we’ve gotten the movie and it’s been several days before we’ve had a chance to watch it, but it’s almost like the movie being there is a promise that we will watch it together – at some stage.
It’s not always easy, or possible, and in some ways just holding hands underneath the blankets in bed, with two small children snuggled in beside us, is silently saying “You are important to me.”
What do you do to spend time together with your partner?