When my daughter was a toddler to about four years old she would have episodes of intense emotion. Which I guess is a euphemism for a “tantrum”, but I feel like tantrum implies that it’s an intentional behaviour. Whereas I absolutely believe these outbursts were beyond her control.
But I do have some reservations about bribing children to behave in a certain way. I’m not going to say do it or not do it. I’m in no way an expert at parenting and I’m absolutely not an expert on YOUR children, I can only share my thoughts based on what has (and hasn’t) worked for me and MY children.
I am a behaviour management expert. Yes that’s right, I said an expert in my field! I have been working with challenging children for the good part of 14 years. I have been giving advice to desperate parents on how to meet the needs of their challenging children, providing them with strategies to use and encouraging them to be firm, but loving.
The little boy at the playground could not have been more than 20 months old. Although I had seen him with his parents before, when he came wondering slowly over to the water play area, his parents were nowhere to be seen. My girls had asked for permission to get wet in one of the fountains. I told them it was ok because we had a change of clothes in the car.
Emma Jenna has been a nanny for 20 years, she is the author of “Keep Calm and Parent On” and she’ has recently written a blog post “5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is In Crisis” which has gained a lot of attention from parents both applauding her and disagreeing with what she has to …
There’s so many polite euphemisms I’ve used to describe my daughter: “Challenging”, “Strong Willed” “Determined” and “Intense” (by which I mean “difficult” “combative” “stubborn” and “throws tantrums… a lot”) She’s always been like this, since she was a brand new baby, I’ve been shocked by how intense she can be.
There have been many times I’ve looked at my wonderful little girl in the middle of a massive meltdown and wondered “Where have I gone wrong?” But when I’m calm (and she’s calm) I look back and I do know that this is the right path for us.
It might be not be the right approach for all people or for all children, but it’s what works for us.