7 Tips for Gently Weaning a Toddler
7Â Tips for Gently Weaning a Toddler
My daughter is now 2 years old and I’m planning to no longer feed her “on demand”, as the beginning of very gradually weaning her over the next year or so. I did the same with my son, I started to reduce his feed after his 2nd birthday and he was completely weaned not long after he turned 3.
This is so much easier said than done, 2 years of unlimited feeding is a pretty darn good run â youâd think theyâd be a little more appreciative and cut me some slack! But for my toddlers reducing feeds has been what I imagine it would be like trying to take away a toddlerâs dummy, special comforter, sleep routine and favourite snack all at once; lots of resistance.
Iâd also have imagined that weaning, or cutting back feeds, with a child who could talk would be easier, but when my daughter isnât shrieking like a banshee at me for not giving her a feed, sheâs gazing up at me, tapping my left breast saying âMummy, dis booby, pease?â with love in her eyes and hope in her voice; itâs pretty darn hard to say no!
Day Weaning
With both my toddlers Iâve found day weaning easier to start with than night weaning. Yep. You read that correctly â at 2 years of age I approached day weaning before night weaning, Iâm still breastfeeding my 2 year old frequently throughout the night, though I donât need a whole lot of sleep to function, Iâm in no way suggesting this is ideal for everyone, this is just what I approached first because it is what is easiest for me.
(Also, indulge me; I want to name all the âtechniquesâ.)
The âDonât sit downâ Technique.
This was advice given to me when first I started to cut back my sons feeds âWhatever you do, donât sit downâ. This is pretty flipping exhausting, but sitting down leads to someone small climbing up into my lap and cuddles in my lap leads to breastfeeding â itâs just how it works. So, we have to stay busy! I find not feeding easier on the days we have plans, we go out, go to the playground, play centre, play date, play group; key word being play, because a toddler whoâs busy playing is less likely to find the time to feed.
The âIâm cutting you offâ Technique.
If my tot insists she NEEDS a feed during the day, Iâm mindful not to just let her feed for as long as she wants. So I only let her feed while she is actively sucking and swallowing. If she is only swallowing intermittently, with long pauses between, Iâll pop her off. Iâm generous, I do give her a second chance if she gets upset, but if she resumes casual feeding then thatâs it! Timeâs up! (Time to get up, get busy and grab a snack or drink instead!)
The âHave this instead!â Technique.
I try to plan lots of little â healthy â snacks throughout the day, things that might be also time consuming to eat, like cut up small pieces of fruit, sultanas, grated cheese, frozen peas and corn, etc; something that will replace that âmealâ of the feed as well as the time spent feeding, once day weaned though Iâll try to space out her snacks to proper meal times. Also I keep water easily available throughout the day, I find a drink bottle easiest way to do this.
The âBoobies are for bedâ Technique.
I tell my toddler that feeding is something that only happens in bed and try to separate the activity of feeding from anything interesting, like no TV, no books, no toys, lights off, just feeding quietly in the dark, though this backfires a little when she starts announcing âMummy! BED TIME!â throughout the day.
The âBack wrap â Not booby wrapâ Technique.
I babywear my toddler, and she believes there are only two different ways to be âwornâ- back wrap, and booby wrapâŠso I donât booby wrap her (front or hip positions)! By wearing her on my back she can still have snuggles, and physical closeness, without being able to access a feed at the same time.
The âRoll and spoonâ Technique.
This is what I started doing long before I actually set myself to the task of night weaning my son, and am currently doing it with my daughter â and I find itâs pretty effective. In preparation for night weaning Iâm trying to encourage her to fall asleep without feeding. So, similar to the âIâm cutting you offâ I wait until the feeding has slowed down and sheâs almost asleep and I unlatch her while also rolling her hips with my other hand to face her away from me, while also snuggling her in close to my body. Sometimes sheâll fully awaken and fuss and roll back to continue to feed, and I let her â and I just wait until sheâs sleepy and try again.
Sometimes it takes 3 or so times until sheâll actually settle to sleep without feeding â if she starts getting upset though I give in and let her fully feed to sleep, but generally I find this works so much better than just unlatching her, because if sheâs turned away from me sheâs less likely to instinctively seek out a feed, also Iâm unlatching her without pushing her away. I started doing this a month or so before I actually started ânight weaningâ my son.
The âBand-Aids over the Nipplesâ Technique
I kid you not this was the biggest part of what made night weaning successful with my son. Because with my nipples taped down and completely inaccessible I was able to cuddle him without any worry that heâd be able to latch himself on. I was able to comfort him, without having to fight with him at all. It did upset him when he found he was unable to feed, but at least I didnât have to push him away from me at all during the process. Iâd remove them each morning in the shower. I recommend a cheap Band-Aid (not a Band-Aid brand Band-Aid ) something thatâll come off easily and it probably goes without saying, but donât put the adhesive part on your nipple â ouch!
What a great article. Day weaning was easiest for Myself and my 22month old. The distraction technique worked great. And night weaning started being easier when i was out a few nights a week, thus no feed to sleep, instead cuddle with daddy. And we also did the water during the night. đ