Being a writer is the first and only thing I ever firmly knew I wanted to be when I “grew up”. I always loved reading. I started reading fantasy fiction novels when I was 12 and that was when I felt like that was what I wanted to do.
I loved idea of writing fantasy fiction, writing something like The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien or The Belgariad by David Eddings. Those kind of epic book series, where the author creates many characters who all have their role to play, with unlikely heroes and incredible villains. I wanted to be able to do that.
I also just loved writing. I’d write anything. I had several diaries that I filled over my child and teenagehood. I wrote letters to people, whether or not I ever intended for them to be read.
Writing helped me process how I felt, if I was angry – I’d write about it. If I was happy – I’d write about it. If I was in love – I’d write about it.
The most appealing thing about fiction writing for me as a teenager was my life was boring and I had so little control over it, whereas I could write stories that were interesting and I had absolute control. I loved fantasy fiction, because then I wasn’t even constrained by reality. I could write about magic and impossible creatures. It made me feel powerful.
The only thing I struggled with was finishing stories. I could sit down over a period of several months and write a 20,000 word begining to a novels. But those kind of stories take a huge amount of work, and preparation, and at the age of 15 I’d just get bored with it – and start a new story. And I had the same thing happen over and over. I’d run out of energy and ideas with a story. I knew where I wanted to take it, but I didn’t know how to get it there.
I took all the elective English classes offered at high school. At one stage half my school schedule was taken up by English and creative writing. It was pretty blissful for me, but I let go of the dream of being a paid writer, and I went to university for a year to study to be an English teacher – but found it really wasn’t for me.
Though I decided I did like working with children, and started working in childcare instead of teaching.
So, I got busy doing other things, I started a family, and started this website, and as much as I do enjoy blogging – and I really do – I feel like I do need to get back to creative writing. I have a story starting to come together in my head, it’s still brand new, just a few pages of planning and a rough first chapter, but it’s getting to the point where whether or not I want to start writing again, I feel like I have to write it. Like I don’t have a choice. It’s writing itself in my head anyway and I feel like I owe it to 12 year old me to let it out.
What are you doing or could you be doing that you are passionate about?