The Hardest Part Of Losing Weight (For me)
Please Note: I am well aware of the fact I have an unhealthy relationship with food, my body, my weight, etc. This isn’t at all intended as advice. I’m just talking through some thoughts about health and weight loss. And possibly reaching out to see if anyone has experience the same thing and maybe – just maybe – how they overcame it. So if YOU have some advice for ME I’m all ears. Or… eyes… because internet…
Also note: This post is brought to you by too much coffee and not nearly enough sleep.
I’m going to be a massive pain right now and say I’m really good at losing weight. I’m brilliant at it. I’ve done it a few times and I always rock at the losing weight part of losing weight.
Yay. Go me!
But I’ve been losing and gaining the same 10 to 20 kilos for the last decade or so.
In my defence I am in my twenties; I’m sure my metabolism will bitch slap me in the face one day for all the torture I’ve put it through with diet shakes and starving myself.
Best “Diet” So Far
I still stand by LCHF (Low carb, high fat – which I’ve written about here) because it has worked better for me than anything else has in the past. Probably because I am still eating “real food” (as in, not shakes or meal replacements) and I am actually eating food (as in, not starving myself!). Which is a huge positive and I’m sure is a big part of why I have actually maintained it for longer than I ever have previously. I started back in June last year and I am still clawing to keep myself going with it. Though it’s becoming more and more difficult to stay focused. And the big part of the problem has been that I actually reached a point where I had to stop losing weight.
Losing Weight Is Motivating
I find once I start losing weight I’ve got that taste of victory to keep me going. Every time I hop on the scales I feel better about myself. And that feeling of success motivates me to say no to that chocolate, or ice cream, or cake – etc. I don’t need to feed my sugar addiction, because I’m addicted to this feeling I get when I’m losing weight.
And it’s even more fun losing weight when people say “Hey Rach, you look great!”
But then as time goes on they start saying things more like “Whoa, whoa! Okay, slow down. You’re losing too much weight. You’re starting to look a bit skeletal!”
Which is fair enough. I can’t continuously lose weight forever – I’d vanish. At some point I have to stop losing weight. And that’s when it gets tricky.
I Don’t Do Moderation
I don’t do motivation. At all. In any area of my life. Like, I didn’t have one pram – I had eleven. I can’t just eat one recommended “serving size” of ice cream – I need to eat the whole tub. It’s also part of why I rock the losing weight thing, because I can very strictly (possibly too strictly) follow a “diet”.
And even if I manage to walk that line between eating enough, but not eating too much, maintaining weight is boring. Sticking to something consistently day in, day out, forever, with no visible gain – is boring. And if I don’t feel like I’m progressing, if there’s no forward momentum…. I start to think – What’s the point? Why can’t I just eat chocolate? What does it matter? Why shouldn’t I eat whatever I want? And a little bit here or there is a very rapid slippery slope to eating everything and all the time.
Fit Not Skinny
I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOOOOOWWWWWW I really really should focus on fit not skinny. Health rather weight loss! Because slim doesn’t necessarily equal fit. And the scales are definitely not an accurate indication of healthy!
Actually right now I’m the least fit I’ve been in my life, despite the fact it’s pretty much the slimmest (or I was before I put back on a few sneaky kilos that prompted this rant). A couple of times recently I’ve been forced to run against my will and ended up a hot panting mess, gasping out “Ugh I’m so unfit” and been told “No, you look great!”
Sure, but, I’m still woefully unfit. A 20 meter burst of running to catch a bus should not leave me clutching my chest and gasping for breath.
Health and fitness, rather than the number on the scales or on the tag of my pants, should be my focus, because it’s something that I can actually continuous work on. I can run longer, farther, or faster, lift more, do more… whatever it is. There’s much more scope for improvement when it comes to fitness, compared to just reaching a specific weight goal.
Zero Motivation For Fitness
… except for the whole “eh” I feel whenever I think about exercising.
But I know – because I’ve done it before – once I start, once I make it a regular part of my life, it becomes a routine and a habit. And exercise has a much more intrinsically motivating, because it feels good. I feel better when I’m exercising and it has nothing to do with how much clothes fit, or how I look, or what the scales says. It just feels good. So I need to do that.
….Any day now…
Has anyone managed to successfully break this cycle? And how did you manage it?